


Till Death

by JacobsHunter



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-24 00:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19162186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JacobsHunter/pseuds/JacobsHunter
Summary: Jacob takes a moment to remember the one he lost.





	Till Death

Jacob sighed as he wound up the music box again. Years. It had been years, yet he still thought of you often. Today was your anniversary, and yet he couldn’t even force himself to smile. The memories hurt too much, especially when he thinks about who he’s become recently.  
“Today would have been 28 years, baby,” he murmured as the song softly played. “I can’t even keep track of the days anymore. They just blend into one big mass of hurt. I can’t even visit you now. Because if I go home, I’ll be in jail before I can blink. You’d be so ashamed, (Y/N), if you could see me now.”  
He swallowed thickly. He could still see your smile, and how perfect you were in white. How your eyes lit up when the vows were finally said. The pride he felt in calling you his, in every way. What he wouldn’t give to have you back in his arms. What he wouldn’t sacrifice to hold you one last time.  
“I wasn’t strong enough to save you. Wasn’t quick enough to get you to safety. And now I have to live with that. If you only knew how quickly my life declined after you died. Joseph and John… they found me. But I still see you everywhere.”  
Which was true. He’d gotten effective at ignoring the hallucinations, but he could still feel you beside him. Some days, when he wasn’t conditioning and training the people he captured, it was a comfort. But when he was doing what he did, it was suffocating.  
“I’ll always love you. Always. And I know, despite what Joseph says, that I won’t be by your side again. If heaven and hell exist, then I know where my soul is going. And it won’t be heaven. I’ll die in these mountains. I’ll be buried here. Hell, maybe Joseph’s right, I don’t know. I just hope, when it’s all over with, that you can still say marrying me was not a mistake.”  
He closed his eyes tightly, and immediately saw your face. If you hadn’t married him, you’d still be alive. If he had just pushed past the firefighters and went back into the house after you, you’d be by his side right now.  
But would you want to be by his side in the middle of all this mess?  
“Maybe Joseph’s wrong, and the afterlife is just a big, empty place. If so, I’ll be there soon. Cause I just know that I don’t have much longer. And I hope… I hope I can still make you proud somehow. That I can have you by my side again.”  
He closed his eyes tightly, angrily wiping away the tears. Even he had his moments of weakness, and this was one of them. What he wouldn’t give to turn back time and make things right. What he wouldn’t give to be a better man.  
“I’ll see you soon, my mate. At least, I hope I will. Just wait for me.”


End file.
